So, every year people make these beautifully cliché things called resolutions. I don’t make those. And when I did I could never actually keep on it anyway.
A few years ago I resolved to never make a New Year’s Resolution. I can’t keep them. I honestly can’t.
“I’m going to lose weight this year!” Nope. Not happening. “I’m going to quit smoking this year!” Hahaha… Yeah. Ok there buddy. Good luck with that one. “I’m going to fall in love and get married and have lots of babies.” Seriously, how delusional are you?
I don’t do the resolution thing. I haven’t made a New Year’s Resolution in 4 years. I guess you could say that I resolved to never make a New Year’s Resolution ever again; a resolution I could actually keep. Fantastic.
What I have been doing for the past four years is essentially this:
It’s fairly simple. You get rid of up to 3 things you don’t want to do anymore, like “having so-called-friends that just don’t care about you” or “don’t swear as often.” And then you put them in the “get rid of” column.
Then, what you do is pick up to 3 things that you have learned from the previous year, put those into the “keep” column, and really put them into action. For example; “keep up the good work on not speeding as much” or, “you’re doing awesome with cooking healthy and well-balanced meals. High-five!” would work out really nicely in the “keep” column.
Lastly, we come to the “add” column. This is just as self-explanatory as the previous sections, but I’m feeling rather good about myself and this “New Year, New You” bullshit, so I am going to explain how this works. This is where you add things. You can add things like, “create a schedule you can actually work around,” “plant a victory garden in the spring”, or “actually check the mail every day.” Stuff like that.
It’s a pretty simple solution to avoid the hassle of making a New Year’s Resolution that you’re not really going to follow through with anyway. “I’m gonna lose all my weight!” says almost every woman on this planet in unison. “89%* of all of you aren’t going to, so stop it, and actually do something about it, instead of talking about how you want to do it.** “I’m totally quitting smoking this year!” says every other smoker in the United States. Does it happen? No. Some of them make it, most of them won’t though.
So, what am doing this year?
I am currently putting together a packet that will outline what my plans are for every one of these items, and I will update this entry when I complete it.
Goodbye 2014, and all of your bullshit. Hello 2015, may it be better than the last and the best so far!
Fuck Counter: 0***
Wait, there's more:
* That 89% is a completely made up number. Do not take it seriously.
** I’m fat too. I feel your pain. Believe me. But, I also have a thyroid problem, and I also want to lose weight… so setting realistic goals for yourself would probably be a great start, and talk to your doctor too, because that’s important. I know nothing.
*** Looks like my profanity is getting better. However, “shit,” and all variations of, was used 5 times.
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