How dare you treat her in the way you do! She does nothing but love and care for you. You have put her through hell. You treat her like shit. You put her down every possible moment. You don't take care of yourself. You threaten your life, her life and mine. You say horrible things about her father. You say horrible things about my children. You do all of these things. And you think everyone is out to get you.
You think that all she wants is your house and your money when you are dead and gone. How can you say that? All she wants is for you to get better. That's all she wants. She wants to have a real mother. Someone to call up, just to say, "Hi, how are you? How's your day been?" Not someone who chooses to put her only child down on a constant basis. You don't even see what you do to her. You can't even comprehend what is going on because you refuse to take your medication. You refuse to take care of yourself. You just want to slowly suffer, because as you say, "I won't go to heaven if I kill myself."
I may not be Catholic, but I was raised by one. What you are doing is essentially killing yourself slowly. That doesn't get you into heaven. Praying daily, and asking God for money, that won't get you into heaven either. Don't preach to me your religion when you don't even understand what you have to do to get into heaven.
"I'm a good person, I deserve to get into heaven." No, you're not.
I have watched you torment your daughter. I have heard of unspeakable things. I only care about you, because I love your daughter, and she loves you. And I will do anything and everything I can to help you, but you seriously need to help yourself.
I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry for supporting your daughter, and driving 30 miles north just to take you to a hospital... because you were delusional and couldn't breathe.
I'm not sorry for standing by her and defending her when you chose to rip her down emotionally, yet again.
I'm not sorry for calling 9-1-1 to get an ambulance to come help you, because you refused to come with us to a hospital, and then subsequently threatened to take your own life.
I'm not sorry that the paramedics came in to your overly-immaculate house with their shoes on, and walked on your carpet.
I'm not sorry that the police came, because you refused to go with the paramedics, and... well... you did say that you'd "kill any other asshole that walked on your 'brand new' carpet with dirty shoes"... and you did say that to the paramedics, and your carpets are only as new as the house is. It was built in 1993, the carpets are not new.
I'm not sorry that the police broke down your bedroom door, and I am probably going to have to fix it.
We asked you nicely to come with us, we begged you to come with us. You refused. You were delusional. You are TRYING TO DIE!
I'm not sorry for anything. However, it is so unfortunate that you don't want to get better. That you are just so miserable, that you feel the only way out is to slowly die, because you are "at the mercy of God's will." That is the saddest thing I have ever heard. You can't see how much she cares about you, you can't see the hell that you put her through. You don't even know her. You choose not to. And that is the saddest part about this whole ordeal. You choose this, over actually living. This is not living. This is not a life. You are choosing to do this. Why? What does this even proove? You have pushed away your entire family. All you have left is your daughter... and... me.
She will never have to do this alone. And that I will never apologize for.
Stop drinking. Get help. Please.
Love,
Your Pseudo-Daughter-in-Law
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