Looks Like Its Time For That “New Year, New Me” Bullshit: How to Make and Keep New Years Resolutions, with this Simple Diagram!!

Happy New Year, and welcome to 2015. I’ll be your guide this evening. Buckle up, boys and girls, it’s about to get awesome!

So, every year people make these beautifully cliché things called resolutions. I don’t make those. And when I did I could never actually keep on it anyway.

A few years ago I resolved to never make a New Year’s Resolution. I can’t keep them. I honestly can’t.

“I’m going to lose weight this year!” Nope. Not happening. “I’m going to quit smoking this year!” Hahaha… Yeah. Ok there buddy. Good luck with that one. “I’m going to fall in love and get married and have lots of babies.” Seriously, how delusional are you?

I don’t do the resolution thing. I haven’t made a New Year’s Resolution in 4 years. I guess you could say that I resolved to never make a New Year’s Resolution ever again; a resolution I could actually keep. Fantastic.

What I have been doing for the past four years is essentially this:

It’s fairly simple. You get rid of up to 3 things you don’t want to do anymore, like “having so-called-friends that just don’t care about you” or “don’t swear as often.” And then you put them in the “get rid of” column.

Then, what you do is pick up to 3 things that you have learned from the previous year, put those into the “keep” column, and really put them into action. For example; “keep up the good work on not speeding as much” or, “you’re doing awesome with cooking healthy and well-balanced meals. High-five!” would work out really nicely in the “keep” column.

Lastly, we come to the “add” column. This is just as self-explanatory as the previous sections, but I’m feeling rather good about myself and this “New Year, New You” bullshit, so I am going to explain how this works. This is where you add things. You can add things like, “create a schedule you can actually work around,” “plant a victory garden in the spring”, or “actually check the mail every day.” Stuff like that.

It’s a pretty simple solution to avoid the hassle of making a New Year’s Resolution that you’re not really going to follow through with anyway. “I’m gonna lose all my weight!” says almost every woman on this planet in unison. “89%* of all of you aren’t going to, so stop it, and actually do something about it, instead of talking about how you want to do it.** “I’m totally quitting smoking this year!” says every other smoker in the United States. Does it happen? No. Some of them make it, most of them won’t though.

So, what am doing this year?

I am currently putting together a packet that will outline what my plans are for every one of these items, and I will update this entry when I complete it.

Goodbye 2014, and all of your bullshit. Hello 2015, may it be better than the last and the best so far!

Fuck Counter: 0***

Wait, there's more:
*  That 89% is a completely made up number. Do not take it seriously.
** I’m fat too. I feel your pain. Believe me. But, I also have a thyroid problem, and I also want to lose weight… so setting realistic goals for yourself would probably be a great start, and talk to your doctor too, because that’s important. I know nothing.
*** Looks like my profanity is getting better. However, “shit,” and all variations of, was used 5 times.

And So It Begins... An Introduction.

Blogging? Again?? Aggh...

Hello, Internet. My name is Jo, and well -- I'm back to blogging... again. 

I used to blog in my early twenties, when that was a thing to do when you needed to vent. But I learned rather quickly that EVERYONE and my MOM could read it. 

Let me tell you, I deleted that account so fast! But, alas, that was a few years back, and things are actually really awesome now. Things are different. Life is different! And honestly, everything is awesome... [Well, not everything] and that's AWESOME! And, its time to share that with others. What is the key to happiness? Well, reader, I don't know what your personal key to happiness is... but I can tell you what mine is. I mean, there are how many people on this planet? There is no way that everybody's key to personal happiness is 100% different... pardon me, I tend to go on tangents. Eeekk!

So you may be wondering what you'll find on this blog. For starters, I'm a DIY-er. I love to build things, break things while trying to build them, and having my life partners tell me to fix them or call in a professional... and not a professional mess maker. I am a closeted cosmetics addict -- but you wouldn't know that if you saw me on the street! And I am also a homemaker, so let me tell you a bit about my home life.

Some of you may look at this stick figure family and go "whaaat?" Don't worry, we are not crazy. We are a Poly-family. "What is a Poly Family?" (Read this, and it explains so much, and I will write my own post on being poly, and what that means to my and my Life Partners, and our kids... at some point in the future.) 

Lets do this from Left to Right:

Hubbs, one of my life partners, is a "traveling accountant" and currently is working away from home. 1,223 miles from home to be exact. It's hard for all of us, but we do everything we can to make things easier. Hubbs only comes home a few times a year, but staying connected is key. He's a bit of a nerd, and is an avid gamer and reader... and has a bit of a Teavana addiction. He is quite the Sir. :)

Second in this Stick Figure diagram would be me. As I have said earlier in the post I love to DIY, and get crafty, and Pintrest all day, and do stuff, and maybe spend a little bit too long on Instagram, but they don't have a stick figure mom wearing jeans and a hoodie. So I am represented in a dress. You'll learn more about me as time progresses, I guess. There is too much to just sum up... and I apparently link just about everything that is relevant to what I am saying. Well, that's cool I guess.  

Wifey would be my other life partner. She's currently in a Masters Program, and is wicked smart. She's understanding and patient, and is an artist. She is a professional photographer, a lady-nerd, and also suffers from a Tetris addiction. She doesn't do skirts, so again, her stick figure is not a proper representation of her either. If only there was a lady-stick-figure that has short hair and wears a fedora. My Lady is awesome. :) 

Brainy is an eight-year-old girl in the third grade. She loves science [particularly weather], crocheting, every Lego video game ever made, and her favorite foods are dill pickles and spaghetti with meatballs. Oh, and she is currently telling me to add that her favorite color is PIIIIIINK [specifically, this color pink], and is learning to play the violin. And loves to read!

Artsy is a seven-year-old girl in the second grade. Artsy loves... ART! She's great with paints, pastels, on all kinds of mediums. She is caring, and loving, but sometimes the "alphabet soup" gets in the way. She is adaptable though, and really pushes to get things moving. She's a hard worker, and tries so hard in school, and is starting to love the magic of reading. She also has a seriously soft spot in her heart for anything fluffy. 

Short-Stack is a four-year-old boy who is currently attending Pre-School. He loves loves loves dinosaurs! Honestly, his first word was dinosaurs. He doesn't talk much, as he communicates non-verbally due to being Autistic, but the boy loves to dance! Pocoyo is his favorite show, and he will do just about anything for marshmallows. 

Lilly the Dog is our furry family member, She is a six-year-old Beagle-Husky mix, and she is the best dog ever. I may be biased in my representations. She will do just about anything for string cheese. She is a great listener. And my best friend. 

That pretty much sums up my intro. Thanks for visiting, and happy reading. :)